According to Martin and Nakayama (2014), “nonverbal behaviors that are not offensive in your own culture may be seen as rude in other cultures” (p. 174). I encountered this idea personally in a workplace experience a few years ago. I have coached competitive gymnastics for about ten years, and although small issues sometimes arise, I generally have found an explanation for and solutions to these problems. During this particular season however, I had one pre-teenage girl who was of Asian descent. She was an exceptionally skilled gymnast with an even more intense work ethic. The concern I felt was for her personality, and more so, her seeming dislike of me as her coach.
She was a shy and reserved child, but unlike any other introverted athlete I’ve worked with, in the three years I had worked with her team she never opened up to any of her teammates or myself. Her personality was stoic, never showing excitement over an accomplishment or frustration in times of difficulty. Unlike her team members, she did not make eye contact during conversation, was very short spoken, and did not give hugs. Although she was a great asset to the team in competition, her standoffish nature was often the root of my frustrations.
At the time, I was unaware of the conventional Japanese upbringing she had at home. Her older brother chauffeured her to and from class everyday and had a much more outgoing personality. One evening after practice, I approached him with my concerns. He quickly explained that her personality was from a strict influence of their especially traditional father. He went on to clarify that in the Japanese culture, emotions and affections are not to be shared, and that silence and low-cast eyes are indications of respect. He informed me that he used to be the same way until his high school experience that taught him more of the American way and that while at home he too is silent and stoic.
After our long conversation I felt enlightened, relieved, and slightly silly that I had made such a big deal and had been so frustrated about an issue that was so easily resolved. My verbal communication was the key to understanding the misinterpretation of nonverbal actions that our cultural differences had created. Since then, I actively try to verbally clear up any non-verbal messages that I receive.
She was a shy and reserved child, but unlike any other introverted athlete I’ve worked with, in the three years I had worked with her team she never opened up to any of her teammates or myself. Her personality was stoic, never showing excitement over an accomplishment or frustration in times of difficulty. Unlike her team members, she did not make eye contact during conversation, was very short spoken, and did not give hugs. Although she was a great asset to the team in competition, her standoffish nature was often the root of my frustrations.
At the time, I was unaware of the conventional Japanese upbringing she had at home. Her older brother chauffeured her to and from class everyday and had a much more outgoing personality. One evening after practice, I approached him with my concerns. He quickly explained that her personality was from a strict influence of their especially traditional father. He went on to clarify that in the Japanese culture, emotions and affections are not to be shared, and that silence and low-cast eyes are indications of respect. He informed me that he used to be the same way until his high school experience that taught him more of the American way and that while at home he too is silent and stoic.
After our long conversation I felt enlightened, relieved, and slightly silly that I had made such a big deal and had been so frustrated about an issue that was so easily resolved. My verbal communication was the key to understanding the misinterpretation of nonverbal actions that our cultural differences had created. Since then, I actively try to verbally clear up any non-verbal messages that I receive.